| The Importance of Self Validation: The Dangers of Seeking Validation from Other People Being able to self-validate is a critical skill because it helps you be totally accepting of yourself without any input from other people. While human beings are highly social and enjoy having other people in their lives for community, conversation, and more, there are dangers associated with seeking validation exclusively from other people. It can cause you to ignore your own thoughts and feelings – if you tune in too closely to what other people are saying you should do, you may notice yourself ignoring your own thoughts and feelings. It can cause you to feel insecure – if you notice that you’re feeling or thinking a certain way that doesn’t match with another group’s way of feeling or thinking, it can cause you to feel highly insecure about yourself. It can cause your happiness and satisfaction to lie totally in the hands of other people – if you depend too much on other people to make you feel validated, they hold the keys to your happiness and satisfaction in life. If the group decides to say or do something that makes you feel unvalidated, you are at the mercy of their choices. Our teens turn to others for validation. As parents, we recognize that all of the people from which they are seeking validation and approval are not “the best choices.” We are not powerless, though. Parents can work with their teens to understand each other better. I can help you and your teen work through unfamiliar territory and map out the terrain ahead. |
